Dynasty Warriors Expansion
by E-arth Duelist
Summary: The ancestors of the cast of the expansion series take on trials of being mercenaries in china.
1. Frownie the Horse

Dynasty Warriors Expansion

Chapter 1: Frownie the Horse

**long time ago, a: (Yoda is not going to be doing this again)**

Walker, Jerry, TJ, Kalvin and Hayley walked up the stairs of the wei imperial palace. No, not the pokemon trainers that we remember. These are their ancestors. Ancient ancestors from china.

"What do you think will be our first mission?" Walker asked, walking inside.

"We just became mercenaries" Jerry reminded him. "TJ, are you playing with a banjo?"

TJ hummed a tune and played his banjo. "In the futrue, this will be a prized instrument." They walked into the main room and noticed Dian Wei staring at them.

"Hello mercenaries!" he greeted roughly. "We're currently in a major war with wu and..."

"You need us to battle?" Hayley asked, donning a ninja costume.

"No" Dian Wei said. "And wrong country."

"In the future, ninjas will be popular" Hayley grumbled, returning to her chinese dress.

"Anyways, we need you five to find our lost horse named Frownie. Frownie was last seen near battle brook."

Kalvin waved at them. "I'm a pony!" he said happily. "I see colors."

"I think Kalvin discovered the first high" Walker sweatdropped.

"What kind of plant did he eat?" Jerry asked. "I saw him nibbling on a strange flower..."

"That's called a happy plant" Dian Wei explained. "It's called that because...it makes you happy."

"I am really happy right now" Kalvin said, relaxed. "So, are we going to find Frownie or not?"

"I guess..." Walker admitted. "Though this isn't that exciting."

"Maybe it will get more exciting as we reach battle brook" Jerry suggested.

**Battle Brook, it is (Yoda!)**

"This place looks calm" Walker sighed.

"True, but I found Frownie" Jerry said, extending his hand to a frowning horse. "Here Frownie..." The horse bit his hand. "Ow!" he cried in pain. "That's what I would say if I wasn't wearing my padded gloves."

"This horse is mine!" a girl with pink haired called, coming from behind a tree, apple in hand. "Who are you five?"

"...mimes?" Walker asked, looking around. Sighing, the others pretented to be in a box. An invisible box.

"Mimes haven't been invented yet" the girl said, causing everyone to sigh and quit. "Why do you want my horse?"

"This horse belongs to Wei" Walker replied, taking a step forward. "We're mercenaries. My name is Walker. And you are...?"

"Eeeeee!" she screamed, jumping with a speed Walker, or the others, had ever seen before. "My name is Whitney and of course I'll marry you!" Walker's eyes opened wide.

"What?" he cried, trying to push her off. He heard TJ and Jerry laughing in the background. "Come on guys, help me out!"

"Well, I wouldn't be so upset if a girl was hanging over me" Jerry chuckled. "I wonder if there are some cougars around?" He looked and spotted two sleeping cougars. Walking up to them, he took a sword and shooed them away. "I don't like those animals."

"I'll gladly give you our horse when we're married" Whitney sighed, daydreaming about the wedding.

"There is not going to be a wedding!" Walker yelled.

"Who's going to be your best man?" Jerry and TJ asked. Kalvin was currently going through a "happy" phase.

"I think I see a lump of coal heading for us" he said, looking at the distance. Everyone looked to see a boulder rushing toward them. Walker finally pushed Whitney away and ran for the hills. The boulder came right at the horse.

"Frownie!" Hayley shouted. Jerry rushed to the horse's aid, but it was too late.

"I did all I could he" he sighed.

"Is he...?" TJ asked, ignoring Whitney and her pursuit of walker.

"Yeah, he is" Jerry replied sadly. "He's balancing on the boulder. Who knows where that horse is going?"


	2. Guarding Wu Camp

Dynasty Warriors Expansion

Chapter 2: Guarding Wu Camp

"We arrived in China to get some work because america is having problems with jobs and this is the work we get?" Jerry complained.

"Quit complaining" Sun Ce responded. "You five are to prevent any enemy soldiers from entering the base."

"You mean we get to fight?" Walker asked, boxing gloves ready.

"You aren't ready to fight them" Sun Ce said. "Now, I'll be preparing for Wu's invasion of Wei." As he left, the others took a guarded stance.

"We're going to be the best guards ever!" Jerry said happily, eating a biscuit.

"Give me the biscuit!" Kalvin growled, hungry.

"Get your own biscuit" Jerry said, pointing at a vending machine.

Kalvin thought for a moment. "Hayley, go get me a..."

"No, women don't work for men" Hayley replied. She stuck her tongue out.

"You're working for Sun Ce" Kalvin pointed out.

"Well, cute men are different."

"Guys, someone's coming!" Walker shouted. A man with a huge beard arrived, a spear in hand.

"Hello Mr. Beard!" TJ said. "We can't let you in today."

"Why not?" he asked, frowning.

"Sun Ce said nobody gets in here while they are preparing to attack Wei."

The bearded man gently picked TJ up and placed him out of the way. "I'm Guan Yu, an officer of...Sun Jian. Yes, Sun Jian's ally..."

"Why haven't we seen you before?" Jerry asked.

"My beard keeps me hidden" Guan Yu admitted. "I was also on a picnic."

"I say we let him in" Jerry suggested. "He has a cool beard." Nobody could argue with that logic and Guan Yu entered the camp.

**Twenty minutes later:**

Sun Ce was outraged at the destruction caused by the battle in the Wu camp. "How could you let so many Wei soldiers into our camp?"

"I remember it this way..." Hayley explained.

**flashback**

TJ and Jerry were playing cards. "I'm glad we decided to do shifts" Jerry said. "Gin."

"We're playing battleship" TJ replied. "And I sank your battleship."

"No you didn't" Jerry said, cleaning his battleship.

"You have a real battleship?" TJ asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I stole it from Wu this morning. I call her Nurse Joy. Want me to show you Nurse Joy's portside?" TJ laughed at the butt joke and climbed aboard. Meanwhile, three Wei officers and a hundred soldiers casually walked into the camp unnoticed.

Then, it was Walker and Hayley's turn to guard the base. Two wei soldiers approached. "My name is Dian Wei and this is my buddy, some random soldier guy...We need to get into that base to rest...yeah, rest."

"He's cute" Hayley sighed, swooning over Dian Wei's bald head. "You two can enter."

"Hold on, we're supposed to guard this place" Walker protested, getting in their way.

"How about a shiny new sword?" the other soldier asked, handing it to Walker.

"It's so ancient!" he shouted, swinging it at a tree. Dian Wei led the soldier inside the base. Then, it was Kalvin's turn to guard the base by himself. And that was already a mess.

"This happy plant is so good, isn't it Squiggly?" he asked. He looked to his right to see a random squiggle waving around on the wall. It wasn't really there though, Kalvin was just stoned. While he was stoned, two hundred and fifty troops entered the base and caused havoc.

**End Flashback:**

Sun Ce was at his limit. "You are the worst guards ever!" he shouted.

"And you hired us" Jerry chuckled. "Now about our fee..."

"You will ge no money from me!" Sun Ce yelled, angry. "Get out of here! I never want to see any of you again!"

"Come on guys, we'll ride Nurse Joy" Jerry laughed, pointing at the stolen battleship.


	3. Plants vs Bacon

Dynasty Warriors Expansion

Chapter 3: Plants vs Bacon

"You five are going to have to do a job for me and it's going to be dangerous" Liu Bei advised them, pointing at his garden. "Eliminate those weeds. I'll check back in an hour." He went inside of his camp.

"So, all we have to do is clip some weeds?" Walker asked. Kalvin was already eating some happy plants.

"We may be done before we get started" Jerry said, picking up some clippers. He tried to clip one of the weeds, but it grew in size until it was eight foot long.

"It's huge!" TJ cried.

"That's what she said" Jerry laughed, dodging the mad plant's jaws.

"How do we stop this thing?" TJ asked.

Jerry began to think. "Kalvin, do you have any pens?"

"Dude...I'm on a cloud with a Kingler..."

"Never mind. Hayley, strip."

"WHAT?" she shouted, embarressed. "If you say so..." She began to take off her shirt.

"Dude, what are you doing?" Jerry asked, shielding his eyes.

"You told me to strip!" Hayley shouted.

"I was asking for a strip of bacon!" Jerry explained. Hayley huffed and grabbed him a piece of bacon. "Thank you. Now, what the bacon?" He tossed the bacon piece at the plant, which began to move away. "Huh, it's scared of meat. I only wanted to use my catchphrase, but this works too."

"We need a meat shield" Walker suggested as more plants began to sprout up, four in total.

"Good idea" Jerry said, snapping his fingers. He continued snapping for a full minute.

"What are you doing?" Walker yelled.

"Snapping" Jerry explained. "It helps calm me. TJ, I need a meatshield!" TJ handed Jerry a shield made of meat.

"This is what you wanted, right?" TJ asked.

"Um...yes" Jerry said, unconvincingly. "I wasn't referring for you to jump into the plants and be a distraction while we go and think of another plan and forget about you" Jerry said. "Certainly didn't write your eulogy either." Using the meatshield, he charged at the plants, holding them back.

"Why do they want to eat us if they don't like meat?" Walker asked.

"They must not only like bacon" Hayley suggested.

"That meatshield is made of steak!" TJ said proudly. Everyone stared at him as Jerry was attacked and defeated by the plants. "What?"

"You...son of a bacon lover!" Jerry yelled. "You almost had me killed! New plan, we throw bacon at the plants to keep them away and Walker and Kalvin will chop them with the clippers." Using Jerry's new plan, they defeated and subdued the plants, freeing Liu Bei's garden.

"Excellent work" Liu Bei said happily, handing them each some gold. "Now, if you want to work tomorrow..."

"No thank you!" Hayley yelled.


	4. Lu Bu's Daughter

Dynasty Warriors Expansion

Chapter 4: Lu Bu's Daughter

"We're working for Lu Bu?" Walker gasped as they stared at their new employer.

"The Lu Bu who trusts nobody and cannot be trusted?" Jerry asked, a little worried.

"I am busy at the moment and have to battle against Dong Zhou. I can't go after my little girl who has been kidnapped by the Yellow Turbans.

"The Yellow Turbans?" Hayley asked.

"How little is she?" Jerry asked.

"She's 20" Lu Bu informed. "The Yellow Turbans speak of the way of peace, but they do not know peace. They were crushed once but they rose up again recently and I don't have the time to deal with them right now. I'm facing execution. Go and get her or else! And no funny stuff or I'll..." Two Wu soldiers charged in and Lu Bu used his shuriken spear to block their attacks. "Go!" The five ran away and found themselves approaching the Yellow Turban base.

"How are we going to get inside?" Walker asked, staring at the massive fortress.

"I have a plan" Jerry said, thinking.

**Five minutes later**

"Well, we lost TJ" Jerry frowned.

"Because you catapulted him over the wall and right into the Yellow Turban's hands!" Hayley shouted.

"I have another plan" Jerry replied.

**Two minutes later**

"Son of a tiger!" Jerry cried. The five were all locked up in a cell. "I thought that would work!"

"They don't have insurance policies yet" Walker said.

"Well, that information would have helped" Jerry frowned.

"Got any more p-lans?" TJ asked, bored.

"Actually, I do..." Jerry said, grinning. He got out shovels and told everyone to dig.

**ten minutes later**

"I'm surprised this actually worked" Walker said.

"I told you, my plans never fail" Jerry boasted.

"Except every other time" TJ pouted.

"Hey, I said I was sorry about the TJpult!"

A Yellow Turban soldier pointed at them, head hidden. She approached and suddenly, without any warning, tackled Walker. "Hello Walky!" she sang, revealing herself to be Whitney.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Walker screamed, alerting the real guards.

"Bacon bits, let's move!" Jerry shouted, running down the corridor. He passed a prison holding a girl at the age of 20.

"I'll kill them with my dad's spear!" she shouted, not noticing them.

"Helloooo, Lu Bu's daughter" Jerry whistled, opening up the cage. "You must be...um..."

Esmerelda" she spat, jumping over him and rushing the guards. She stole one of their spears and knocked them down, barely letting them escape.

"She's ruthless" Kalvin said. "Isn't that right, squiggly?"

"Who's squiggly?" Jerry asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My squiggle friend. He's right beside you."

"I don't see him...I do know I'm in love though. With Lu Bu's daughter."


	5. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Burn

Dynasty Warriors Expansion

Chapter 5: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Burn

"For this mission, you five will be given weapons" Zhang Fei said, handing each of the heroes weapons. "Walker, you get throwing knives."

"Awesome!"

"Jerry, you get a sword."

"I'll name you Jack" Jerry said.

"Why Jack?" Kalvin asked.

"I like the name" Jerry replied.

"For TJ, a flute."

"Ripoff!" TJ yelled.

"For Hayley, a bow and arrow."

"I'mma a ninja archer!" she shouted.

"And for Kalvin, against all better judgement, a spear. Don't poke your eye out."

"Um...I didn't hear what you said. I was l;istening to Squiggly."

"Just go out and get my alchohol back from the Qiao sisters" Zhang Fei groaned.

"They're Wu, aren't they?" Hayley asked.

"One for each of us" TJ said, winking at Kalvin.

"Huh? Squiggly was telling me about the time he served in the war." They approached the Wu camp where the Qiao sisters were keeping Zhang Fei's alchohol.

"I have a plan to get us inside" Jerry announced, taking out a piece of paper and a pen.

"You're going to write it down?" Hayley asked.

"No. I was doing a word search...I mean, yes! I am writing down a plan!" He scratched out his word list and worte down his plan.

"That may actually work" Walker grinned. They knocked on the door and a Wu soldier walked out.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"We're soldiers sent to play rock, paper, scissors with you" Jerry announced, getting ready.

"Well, okay. One game and that's it. Then you have to leave."

"Rock...Paper...scissors!" They revealed the soldier to have scissors and Jerry to have paper.

"Looks like I won" the soldier laughed.

"I beg to differ" Jerry smiled. "TJ, now!" TJ threw a bunch of paper at the soldier, giving him paper cuts.

"Ahhhhh!" the soldier screamed. "It's everywhere!" The five ran inside and began searching in teams. Kalvin, Jerry and Hayley went one way and Walker and TJ went the other. Squiggly decided to take a u-turn and wait outside.

"I think we're in the clear" Jerry said, pointing at the alchohol.

"Maybe you should have been quieter" Da Qiao said. She was dressed in royal clothes and had her fan out. "Fan swipe!" She struck out at Hayley, who dodged.

"Time to fight" Hayley suggested, getting out her bow and arrow. Jerry took out Jack and Kalvin took out his spear.

"My fan can deflect all of those attacks" Da Qiao laughed. "Consider this revenge from Sun Ce, my husband." She conectrated her energy and shot a large fire wave at them, barely missing them.

"That was close!" Kalvin gasped.

"Dude, how about helping us?" Jerry asked, blocking her fan with his sword.

"What about that fire wave?" Kalvin asked.

"Are you hallucianting again?" Hayley asked, shooting her bow and arrow. She accidently hit Frownie the horse and he galloped out of the base in terror. "Whoops. Sorry Frownie."

Menawhile, Walker and TJ had their hands full with Xia Qiao. "Why are you guys running away?" she giggled, chasing them.

"You tried to light us on fire!" TJ shouted.

"And you burnt Kalvin's collector's edition pen from the pen writers convention" Walker said, dodging Xia Qiao's spinning fan.

"My pen..." Kalvin cried, having somehow sensed his pen being burnt. He charged Da Qiao and knocked her back with his spear. "I'm going to light this place on fire!" he roared. He stuck his spear into each alchohol barrel.

"Kalvin, no!" Jerry cried. "Hayley, book it!" They ran and found TJ and Walker running toward them.

"Kalvin's gone crazy" Hayley huffed.

"Not a surprise" Walker announced, taking a breather. "That crazy girl torched his pen." Kalvin had been coming back when he heard that and his rage began to grow again. He took out a match and light the alchohol on fire. Soon, the five escaped as the camp went up in flames.

"I say we let Kalvin explain this to Zhang Fei" TJ elected.


End file.
